Characters:
George: 33 week-old fetus; funny and active; strong right jab
Heather: 26, beautiful, pregnant mother of George
Drew: 26, father of George
Dr. K: very nice person; not the most experienced at sonograms
Dr. X: Has done a sonogram before today.
Scene 1: At the hospital, checking on cramps and contractions (Spoiler: everything is fine- don't worry.)
Dr. K: Ok, let's take a look at the baby with the sonogram machine. Do you know what the sex is?
Drew: (Thinking) She's got a sonogram.... isn't she going to find out in a minute?
Heather: It's a girl.
Dr. K: (Placing wand at bottom of abdomen) Alright... so here is the head...
Drew: (Thinking) Oh good, she's head-down.
(large oval shape fills screen)
Heather: The whole thing is her head?
Dr. K: Yup. ...and here's her spine... and here's her heart beating.... and here's her rear... hrmm.. wait...
Drew: (Thinking) Does our baby have a head up there too? Two heads?!
Dr. K: Wait, let's look again... there's her heart...and... I thought she just stuck her butt in my face... wait... is that her butt? Is THAT her butt?
Drew: (Thinking) She has two butts? Where is her head??
Dr. K: Is there only one baby?
Drew: (Thinking) WHAT?
Heather: Yeah, just one...
A long pause.
Dr K.: Hrmm... I'd better get Dr. X in here... she's much more experienced at this than I am...
Drew: (Thinking) I hope so...
Dr. K exits.
Heather and Drew, together: What is going on here?
Dr. X enters.
Dr. X: Okay, let's take a look. Yup, here is her head up here. She's breech.
Drew: (Thinking) So, she has a head. Phew!
Dr. X: And here is her face. So cute!
George yawns.
Heather: Of course you're tired- go to sleep and stop kicking me, baby!
End scene.
Playwright's note: I've received some feedback that this post is confusing, and maybe not so funny. Which is too bad, because the whole experience was so surreal and hilarious for Heather and me that we couldn't help but relate it to you. I guess I'll have to work on my ironic timing. ;)
At this point we are not too concerned about the breech issue; they say she still has plenty of time to turn around and get things figured out.
More pictures to come soon.
10 comments:
Dude, I thought this was funny. You are a talent, don't let anyone tell you different:)
Glad things are good. Keep us posted!
Nice belly Heather:) almost as big as mine, only mine doesn't go away :( No baby, just a lot of other things that start with B...like beer, burgers, bratwurst, etc...you get the picture.
Love you guys!
I thought it was a hilarious story. I could picture your faces when she asked,"Is there just one babe?" Priceless. And I got another mental picture when she left the room and you both said, "What is going on here!" I love it. Good story. Bring on the pictures!
I thought it was funny, we have had similar experiences, but after I read your openeing line I thought you were going to say that the sex had changed and then all those onsies I sent you would be kind of useless. Wow! 5-9 more weeks and then you guys are parents! I can't wait to swap stories!
Amanda Burnett
It is reassuring we can rely on such well trained doctors isn't it?
Our last doctor's visit before Tabitha gave birth put us in the room with a doctor that didn't seem to have full comprehension of the english language. As hard as we tried we could not carry on a coherent conversation with the guy. The joys of prengnacy I guess.
this way hilarious! a double butted, double headed baby will make the record books for sure
Drew, I think it's good thing that Heather is the one in theater. ;) But i admire you for writing the "first" scene of what will prove to be many more acts in this baby's life.
my preggy clients love this story. for serious.
-aunteenie
You know.....Your grandmother had twins, and wasn't the doctor surprised.....? It would be just like a Donahoe (and probably LaForge---at least Drew's part) to hide behind each other and then yell "SURPRISE" on the day of birth.....Love you both (All) GrAuBe (figured I needed to add something to distinguish Aunt from "GREAT" Aunt
So funny! Glad there aren't 2 butts in there - or 2 heads for that matter - especially since the head is the hardest part to get out and I wouldn't wish a baby with a head on each end to any woman going through labor! Enjoy your last few weeks!
i was convinced they were going to find something ELSE on the other side of the butt, making George really George!! Shocking! anyway good laughs. love you guys!
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